Monday, November 12, 2012

TDKbitch

Edit

I had to edit my last post.

Worried

My dad is worried about my brother because he thinks it represents him.  He expects my mom to do everything for him.  He also ruined my life thinking I had to be like him.  It seems Ellen never had to feel what it's like to have a younger sibling, but she probably beats certain people around with that logic.  Why is everything about Ellen?  Ellen Ellen Ellen.

Also, you shouldn't get caught up in some things.  Perhaps, you ought to leave me alone.  I mean, people are always like this, they just don't post it on a blog.

How important is my dad's to what he dubs it so seems his sistress with all her suggestions?  These|Some people really have an explosive problem and think they're better than everyone else, or should I just flat out say that that's how my dad's sister is being made out to be by him?  Come on, help, leave me alone!  If you're jealous, get your own blog.  I can say whatever I want.  Leave me alone!  Even if I moved away, this would haunt me.  ':{

STOP

SOMEONE STOP MY DAD MAKING UP FANTASIES ABOUT MY MOM WHEN SHE TRIES TO TAKE CONTROL OF HER LIFE.  LEAVE, MOM!

Wait, isn't this Ellen's fault?  What, are you gonna go into the word "shit," now, behind my back?

In-Laws

So, I know my dad doesn't really respect his family but thinks my mom has to be overly involved in them.  He's not really sensitive to how he treats me, and neither is his family.  They're onto me but say they aren't.  Isn't that the worst thing you can do?

Showered

I still don't feel really cozy.  :{

I'm being surrounded.

=}

What happened?

What happened with Kate Bush?  She was on the Olympics and I watched her videos and it affected me.  It also made me laugh funnily, though before I wasn't laughing much.  Heh.  :^,

End Morality

So, Ellen doesn't really care about the end morality.

So, what, just not listen and say I deserve it?  I know you don't punch it in every person in the world.

Whoever's Winning

So, Ellen just goes along with whoever's winning and has no explanation.

Without Thinking

I see you were mean to my brother and cousin, all along, but that doesn't mean you can debase me without thinking.

Help!

I don't need to get this out here other than that there are queasy people in Hollywood, but anyway I noticed my parents made my brother like my worst nightmare in an unattractive way, all hardy, like it's to stimulate me.

Dream

I went to an office.  My mom was with me.  My picture was the best of a girl's knee and leg but sketchy.  The others were painted and uneven.  Later, I saw girls's knees and legs and they were cute but uneven.  One girl in ballet was really thin.  I don't know what I was doing in the office.  Another lady came in and there was an office nearby.  It was like a school office.  The lady had short, thick, reddish hair and was a little fat.  Also, the community theater was involved.  Something cool happened.

Nighty Night 3)

Southern Life

Well, my parents are not Southern, but they submit to Southern culture.

Look, I just wanna talk about it.

Perv

Wow, deficient people.  Think some things have to happen and control them.

Some Things I Forgot to Go Through

Oh, yes, I don't let people pick me up.  I mean, someone could if they were really nice...

OH MY GOD STOP TALKING TO ME MEANLY.  STOP KIDDING YOU'RE NOT FUNNY.  SOMEONE STOP THIS PERSON.

I got "the" message my dad did this, but he's not like that, made the world happen this way, but he didn't.

LOOK, QUIT IT.

Uh, I keep getting these lame messages.

Stop telling me I said I was bad and stuff.  ':{  Look, some people have a problem.  I can do whatever I want.  This is illegal.  I never did this to you.

I forget the message I got posting this now, but it sounded like Ellen DeGeneres.  Look, you're not better than me, and you're certainly not nicer.  You're just older and were a pretty adult and a very cute kid.

I usually don't encourage people to touch me, but when they do it feels good and I think about it until I can't anymore.  Well, I have other things to do these days and make myself feel that way alone.  Well, I feel it more in bed from my covers.  Now, I feel warmth in my bed.  My bed used to pulse.  It was really cool.

Look, I don't wanna sit here and listen to you make up perverted ideas about what I do just because I didn't follow Ellen DeGeneres on Twitter over the summer so I wouldn't feel I owed her anything.

I liked this one dream where a machine picked me up I thought for real and put me on the hard carpet by a front door.  This was in October.

Hey, really, before, things were different, morally.  Why did I ever come to Orlando with my parents?  They just complain about me.  Money from college.

Ugh, my tubes are hurting.

Being Stimulated

I think it's fun, and we shouldn't argue organizing our lives and feeling better and making it more comfortable.

I can probably be stimulated in bad ways, but I've always been able to stop it.  If I did something to someone, they'd feel like doing that to me.

Pretty much, I'm getting older and some things just make me feel sad.

I guess we need to figure new ways to live.  I wanna sit here and plan out the world.  Nursing homes.  Jails.  Behavioral centers.  Forted down houses.

Then, we need to make schools better.

Then, we need to make community get-togethers.

You know, I was at the mall in Mississippi during a New Orleans event.  I saw this lady who was kinda big.  It was summer 2005, after I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I just realized.  She was with a group of girls.  She picked this one girl up who was like thin and slick, slim bones but substantial.  She had light, mousy brown hair with a bow.  A big bow that was obvious.  She was like holding her at her little butt switching her to the other side.  I guess I was jealous of how cute and together she was.  I haven't seen anything like it.  At church before, I saw a guy lift a little kid above his head and teen girls looking on kinda quite, staring, but shaking, really jealous.

Look.

It looks like your logic cleared the smoke.

I think this should stop so no one gets hurt.  We can't just like do whatever we want to people and stimulate them in bad ways.

Stop being nonsensical.

What's so hard to understand?

I had a hard life and a hard time remembering.

Stop picking on my mom and dad.  I don't think they deserve to be attacked and tortured.  You shouldn't have been talking to them.

Messages

Like, first someone is friendly, and then they turn on me, like Ellen does I guess.  It's pretty cutting and bad.  And annoying.  '=D

What?

Look, why am I getting hysterical messages from watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show?"  I didn't follow her on Twitter over the summer, didn't think it was a big deal as she was being a bit stand-off-ish.

Look.

I keep getting weird ways and timing that my page loads.  It's supposed to be from Ellen, even though it's not her, at least I really hope not, though she does spy on people and that's fun when and if it happens to you and I am pretty sure it happens to me.

Ellen?.

Why does Ellen DeGeneres think she can solely equate me in all my being as Tim Burton and thinks I moved to the New Orleans area because I was bad and she's from there?  What does that mean?  You can't be mean to me for it and clumsy.

I demand an answer.

I was just wondering why you are queasy, mean, and ridiculous, all the time.  I demand you answer and that I be allowed to leave.

Random Thoughts

Well, I was wondering why my mom didn't tell me again to write my cousin and made me feel uncomfortable to write to her!  People have been mean to me, sensing I did it!  :0

I was also wondering why some people are there to rattle on to me when I don't know what to say.

There's no reason I couldn't have like maybe written her a short note in English.  She should have took me to get stationary.  We were even sent stickers.

You shouldn't get mad at her for it.  It's her family and her little sister.  You have no right to attack us.  It may be wrong, but I don't know what was really going on.  I don't think you really care about my cousin, at all.

Tim Burton

I just watched a bunch of his YouTubes and added them to my channel.

(I'm gonna post about something else, now, though, that's important but an old issue, too..)

Mad Room

I'm glad I have it.  I wonder if I won't need it, soon.

I know I was upset about Tim Burton, but I kinda got over it now I can watch Ellen DeGeneres when he's busy about his daughter.

Also, I just felt he was a bit racist, for some reason.  I felt uncomfortable.  It seemed partly because of Johnny Depp, whose ancestor or other relative was the first freed black woman in the United States.  Like, they have certain ways and weave around each other, I guess, and are looking for "popular" people to tell them they're better than everyone else, as in more moral, when it isn't true and it rubs in the wrong idea.

It does seem things in the world are a lot about Tim Burton's daughter.  Can anyone help me get back her blog?  I threw it out, for some reason, but I left a flower on it.  I want to change it!  :0  She needs an active blog I can give to her one day, though I switched to Tumblr.  Ah, yes, it was connected to christina-barrett.  I didn't know what to do.  I wanted to have all my blogs on my account and assumed Blogger would go out of date and that Tim should have gotten it or Helena for her.  I mean, it's only safe.

So, I dunno, he just has a way of being racist, but I can deal with it.  I just don't like how he hasn't improved in the way you'd think he was supposed to.  Ever since the n word thing, he's lost it.

People Born 1950-1959

Also, I don't know why people born between 1950 and 1959 think everything is a surprise for everyone else.

Feeling Better

I just feel a bit overcome by all that's happened, every time I mess up, though it seems there's always an opportunity to get better.  Maybe, I'm getting used to the sounds, but they aren't really as bad at the moment.

The Itch

The itch where my pimple was above my lip didn't itch before.  It left like a gray spot around the holes.  8|

Isn't that gross?  This is a weird Christmas, err, winter.  8|

Help!

I cut myself opening my salad I spilled from Wendy's.  I can't put my feet on the ground.  :0  There's leaves, there.  I did put Bactine, disinfectant, on it.

Comfortable

I'm feeling better but upset at what I've gone through, the way I've exploded online, literally.  The mad room has helped, a lot, me to sort out my feelings alone.

I still feel really weird but am getting better.  I have an itch above my lip on the right.  It's from a pimple before.  I saw a girl on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" whose dad was Spanish and whose mom was Italian.  She had a mole above her lip.  The pimple I had lasted awhile.  I have some skin ticks.  More grew after I got some removed.  They're like strings of skin that stick out, rubbery, not as thin as string.  They're on my back now and under one of my armpits.  There was an obvious one I had removed on my chest area or shoulder line or whatever you call the top of your torso where it lines out into the edge of your shoulders.  So, maybe, when I'm better, I'll get them removed.  I mean, when I'm healthier.

So, on another note, I should be getting a more comfortable room, now.  I asked my parents for furniture, 2 new bookshelves, a computer machine stand that rolls, and a little stand for a printer that can go next to it.  I didn't find much in the way of them combined.  My printer doesn't even work, just my scanner, which I scan pictures with sometimes.  I asked for white bookshelves.  I might put wallpaper in it to match a future bedset.  I have to move my musical instruments out.  I should get rid of my stuffed animals.  I probably have things to throw out.  I should move some of my DVDs in a box somewhere else.  I might move my harp back in, but I might have gotten tired of it, unsure.  It's still fun, but I'm running out of songs.  I should be able to store my pink electric guitar, easily.  My harp is from an indian on eBay and made me sneeze for months, maybe even a year.  My dad got me my keyboard, wasn't a whole lotta money, too bad.  I should get rid of the mirror.  I'd like to replace the TV stand and sofa, as well.  Then, someday, I'll have a fancier TV..  :/  This one is cute.  I used to use a really small one, but it doesn't work, now.  I'm not as comfortable in the living room.  I have my workout mat still on the floor because I was working out a few minutes every few hours, abs.  I need new PJs, too, and some workout pants.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

What I Ate as a Kid

Well, yea, sometimes, it was just chicken for supper when I was 2.  I remember the corn, well, as well.  I don't know why, but it was good but seemed like I should be able to have better food.  I know we didn't have much money, so that's probably why.  My mom didn't work when my brother was a toddler but supposedly did somehow when I was.  I thought she stayed home with us.  Sometimes, my grandma was here, but I don't really think she was taking care of us.

Like, I would be at the table with my corn not wanting it because it was both sweet and not tasty.

Yes, I was a bit explosive in a way that was like being put together of like sorta odds and ends, like I guess being mixed racially.  I guess I got over whatever that was.  Well, in some ways, I'm sure I haven't.  I don't know why I can't sit down and like do it the right way.  I'm in a lot of turmoil, in a way, and like half dead though not like damaged as a person.  I'm not sure what all that will suggest...  I mean, some people just like to make a big deal of things.  I ran into a mature girl in the store who seemed Irish, part Irish.  She seemed to see things in a mature, typical or whatever word you'd use way.

I'm confused.  I just saw an ad of coffee being poured from a machine.  What's it like to grow up eating normal food?  I supposedly had normal food, but I don't remember it.  I don't think it was fancy, but it was healthier than most people.

Americans

It seems as though Americans in general are all suffering the same thing.  We get to feel nice but have to suffer certain wild things, for some reason.  I also found out that when I think something that has an attitude, someone will get back at me.  Like, for being so literal but do it behid my back.

HAA LELUIA

The blog roll works!  3D

Harsh

Today, when I closed the car door without thinking, it was harsh, sorta piled up of "what" I did.  Then, when I closed the door by my mom, it seemed that it hurt her after when I went in.

A Nice Guy

I saw a nice guy at the grocery store.  He had a long nose that curved under and seemed strong.  A couple was there and seemed happy in a weird way, and somehow we clicked that they weren't that nice.  He had graying hair, was alone, seemed amiable, probably like age 50 or somewhere around there.

When I went a few weeks ago, there was a guy with his partner I think who looked kinda like a Lion King kid for Ellen, so sweet.  I wanna see these people online.

What I Didn't Get at the Grocery

I had to put back all the starch.

My Eye

My right contact lens has been stinging me, for some reason.

singing

I'm karaokeing to ALW.

Just Finished

Well, I have leftovers.

I cut myself and dropped some of my salad.

Caesar wrap
spicy sandwich
burger
lemonade, large
oreo thing
oh nd frids

Wendy's

Musicians

I woke up this morning a 3rd or 4th time hearing this strong other-worldly Mickey Mouse creek.  I assumed it was the sound of the composer of "O Holy Night."

Also, when I went to the mental hospital a night and couldn't sleep when I woke up I heard an other-worldly sound of Justin Bieber, which seemed very evil, not sounding evil but seeming evil.  I'm so not going back.  My dad said I couldn't come back home if I go back.

Miami

I wonder what someone moving to Miami would be like from Europe in the 80s and 90s.

My Story

Let's see.  I really liked choir and being a piano prodigy.  I took piano from one of the music teachers.  The daughter of the other was just a little younger than me and in my class, but she had dark skin.

I liked my organ teacher and choir director, maybe my 2nd best influence.

Voice in college was definitely an elating adventure, 2004-2005.  I always dressed nicely.  However, 1st semester was new kid dresses.

So, 1st story I was 11.  2nd story, I was 16, 17, coming back in college.  3rd story, college, age 18.  Then, I struck out on my own age 19 for 1|2 semester.  That's 5 years.  I had other special people in my life, too.  I've had lots of great cultural experiences.  The slowest was probably as I got older and moved to the New Orleans area.  I remember going downtown, not sure what for, and parking beside the business offices.  I was foreign, for some reason.  Only once did I go downtown at night with my aunt and ate at T.G.I.F.'s.

Carrying People

I noticed in the New Orleans cultural strata that people pick up kids who aren't their own often and stuff.  However, I believe, in Florida, people are more social but reach out to you in different ways.  You just wait and someone comes along who is really emotional and strong and like pretty interesting and not too clowny and intellectual.

Well, you know it doesn't happen often, but it happens.  More like not in Florida.  It's a big thing when relatives touch you, I think.

I do believe in the New Orleans area people are more open and like pigs and young people talk to adults but don't want to participate in what they're really supposed to be doing in the world.  I don't know why.  It seems that people from the New Orleans area who are adults are nice, but the kids are all so mean and annoying and make you uncomfortable.

I noticed that in certain places, like that area, I guess it can be stimulating.  I was thinking of going to hotels in Texas during Katrina.  My aunt was driving me home during Andrew.

I'm sure they really affect you a lot in the New Orleans area.  I've seen people casually pick up kids around kids they weren't related to!  80

A Success

I just peed and pood substantially enough.  :)  It would be nice to shine up bathrooms in an upstanding place racially.

Stinky

I smell like a gym.  I showered earlier this morning when I woke up but was bitter maybe.  Like my neck has this sweet, sticky smell, like a little apartment gym, kinda.  I left my exercise mat on the floor with the dumbbells.  Also, I keep having to go to the bathroom, but it's not like bad.

My right ear just popped.

That ear plug is usually latched in more.  8|

How My Mom Took Care of Me

Well, I don't know why she kept waking me up and coming in my room.  Maybe, she had a reason.  She seemed to.

I don't know why she wanted me to work and not spend much money.

Well, let's see.  My dad boasted that I had peas as a baby.

I had tea before my brother was born.

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, I had a hot dog and Ramon Noodles, beef.  I wanted more food, more hot dogs, more noodle soup, but I didn't say so.

When I was younger, I had plain chicken my mom cut open with ketchup she told me to have, though I didn't want the ketchup.  It tasted a bit tasty.

I did go to Pizza Hut but wanted it more.  My little girl cousin supposedly had a lot of pizza.  She was stocky and grew to be a strong girl.

I guess I was a good girl, but I guess I didn't feel approved of racially.  I guess my brother latched on and became humble and a bit careless and lackadaisical yet sharp.  I guess he's fit in where he's lived.

I put my hair in a ponytail.

Provisioned :|

I just had some mushrooms and spinach cooked and a bite of fresh pork with a spice.  I also have quelling Florida grocery store (Publix - Where Shopping Is a Pleasure, though they don't use that sign here) tea.  Then, I cleaned the kitchen, put my meat away.  I had New Orleans Spanish rice, earlier.  I also had a chocolate fudge pop before that, after my breakfast, of 2 pices of onion bagels with garden cream cheese.  So, I put the chocolate chip oatmeal cookies I made on a plate and my vitamins and brought them in my room.  Now, I'm having more tea.  :]

I also just did my ab exercise.  :)

I did ask my parents for some furniture and not the coat.  I also asked for some ear protection and a very loud fan.  I think the fan is more helpful.  I found like these plastic things that cover your ears without a headband.  There's something that goes in them, though.

I'm feelin' hot hot hot.

Psycho

Why did teenagers all go psycho and take pills?

Exercise

I rented a good ab workout for $2 at Amazon Instant Video.  It's over an hour long.  I'm doing like a few minutes every few hours, now.

I bought this other one right away, and then I felt good for a long time.  10 minutes.  Then like 10 minutes on an upper body one I bought, too.

Desired School School

Private School

Year 1
1. Religion I
2. English II
3. Geometry
4. Biology
5. History
6. Health | PE I
7. French I

Year 2
1. Religion II
2. English III
3. Algebra II
4. Chemistry
5. History
6. PE II
7. French II

Year 3
1. Religion III
2. English IV
3. Advanced Math
4. Physics
5. History
6. Civics
7. French III

Public School

Year 1
1. English II G
2. Geometry G
3. Biology I H
4. Freshman Orientation | Civics
5. PE I
6. Talented Theater I
7. French I

Year 2
1. English III APG
2. Algebra II G
3. Biology II
4. World History
5. PE II | Health
6. Talented Theater II
7. French II

Year 3
1. English IV APG
2. American History H
3. Free Enterprise |
4. Talented Theater III
5. French III
6.
7.

School - Loyola University New Orleans - French Major + Communications Minor
18 Credits a Semester, 3 Courses in the Summer, Graduate @ 20
Work for Disney Junior in Burbank & Become Famous Blogging Online
Tweet movie stars and become rich one day.

Edit

I just edited another post in an old blog.  ;)

Edit

I edited some of my old posts.

Welcome to my Blogger!